Happy New Year assholes!

Oh yss another year of depression and school. Well I actuzlly think that I can get over my hate for school. It'll be sort of a blind quiet behind the bushes hate. Basically I couldn't even give two shits about anyone in my school. Except for Olivia and some other good friends. I know that I sound a bit heartless but if no one in thats school even cares about me then why should i care? Isnt that how the world works anyway? Through fairness? A dog-eat-dog world or an eye for an eye, bullshit like that.
Am I glad to be back in school? You've got be kidding me with that question.
High school sucks. Is that the teenage rebellious statement you want me to make? Well bam there it is. I think I'm going to stop trying to be what people want me to be. I hate that feeling like I'm at a beauty contest or fashion runway. Why can't I just dress the way I want without having society create me for me. I mean come on.... would it really hurt to do what's best for me? I should start studying too. My grades aren't really doing good. And I have NO reason to not have good grades.

!Happy Holidays!

Well Xmas is over..
I'm kind of disappointed because now I don't have anything to look forward to.
When I go back to school everything will probably just be as it was before.
Me walking with friends but feeling totally alone in my head.
Oh well. I should just deal with it and get on with the rest of school.
I should stop searching and start getting on task.
Anyway, I finally got a new phone! It's an android with a pink cover. :)

Triggers.

Pictures of self-harming make me want to cut. I physically get shivers when I look at pictures. It just looks so good. I don't have any blades so I can't really make a good clean cut.

Too much for one girl

Sorry I was just thinking about if I ever had a really hot boyfriend. I'd probably be stressed out.
Anyway, something I've realized this week,
I need to stop thinking so much. I'm always stressing about what I will become when I'm older. What will happen to me. Who will I be.
I need to just stop and just go with the flow. Life moves so fast that I'm not able to see anything.
AND I definitely should stop thinking about guys. Maybe that's why I don't have one.
I'm always fantasizing and dreaming about guys. I should just SHUT IT DOWN and pay attention to school. Seriously, I need to get it together. C's suck ass.

Yay

New York was a fun time.
And my family got exactly what they wanted, my big sister Erika.
And thats me down there by the way.

Tomorrow is coming

It's official.
I'm obsessed with, Evan Peters.
He just makes me feel all goofy inside.
This celebrity crush probably end once the AHS season ends. :/
Tomorrow I'm going to New York for my big sister's graduation.
I'm actually really excited, but for my own reasons.
I wish her and her boyfriend were still together, I actually miss him. She'd probably be pissed if I told her that. It was her boyfriend and how they end their relationship was shitty.
I'm just excited to take pictures of everything. :)

Scared

This weekend I'll be going up to Ithaca for my big sister's graduation.
I'm excited but scared.
I don't wanna get too excited or something bad might happen.
For some reason I'm starting to get into karma's way. I hate it, i have to be careful with what I do, what I say, what I think. It sucks. It's like walking in a street full of potholes with a blind fold on.
I also set up my Yule altar today <3